Over the last few months, I’ve noticed that the mattress I’ve been sleeping on isn’t really flat any more. It has a distinct topography, which persists even after sliding a board under it.

Luckily, after consulting the mattress tag, internet, and original chooser of the mattress (not me, long story), it turned out that the mattress was covered by a guarantee.

Unfortunately, that word – “guarantee” – is one of the most abused marketing terms ever.

For example, who determines that a mattress has failed, and is eligible for replacement under the guarantee?

Answer: a third-party verification company (no kidding, I’ve met a for-real certified mattress inspector).  This is good. Not so good, it took five phone calls, extensive paperwork, location of obscure 10-year old documents (really!) and a discussion over whether the $35 inspection fee would be paid by Serta.

That said, Serta agreed that the mattress would be replaced under its guarantee.

But Serta Mattress Company’s “guarantee” states in part that “…the manufacturer reserves the right to substitute materials of equal quality”.

Which resulted in an interesting conversation between me and the local sales rep, Darrow Crowe, in which Mr. Crowe quoted that phrase and stated that the replacement mattress would have a lower coil count, unless I’d like to pay for an “upgrade” to my current mattress’ coil count. (!)

Of course, Mr. Crowe didn’t want to put that statement in writing.

Again, let’s look at the situation:

1. Marketing goal of a guarantee: make the consumer feel safe in purchasing an item. The fear of making a “bad choice” and being cheated goes away with a guarantee. Smart.

2. Legal language in the guarantee: designed for Serta’s protection, so that an evil consumer can’t demand replacement of a ten-year old mattress with materials not made in ten years. Reasonable.

3. Salesperson interpretation of the guarantee: an opportunity to upsell and increase commissions for that quarter.

So where am I going with this, and what’s the marketing moral?

My point is that if a marketing term like “guarantee” is to keep its value, it must be honored. Otherwise it becomes simply noise, like the phrase “new and improved”.

Having the sales team administer the “guarantee” is effectively a “guarantee” that the term won’t be honored.

Moral of the story: Don’t ask sales to market – they’re there to close. Marketing, and only marketing, should ultimately own and be responsible for fulfilling on the implied – or “guaranteed” truth behind marketing promises.

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