In another (see FedExKinkos) sad story of “marketing doesn’t end at the ad”, today we’ll talk about Cingular, Verizon, and T-Mobile… and why it’s important as a marketer to think holistically.

My cautionary tale begins with a simple desire. I wanted to consolidate my cellular lines. I had one business phone (lots of minutes, data plan) and one personal phone (old, on a pre-paid plan). Both were on Cingular. Kudos to Cingular’s direct marketing, as I had gotten an in-bill ad that made me think “gee, I could simplify my life and put these on a family plan”.

Here’s where the plan falls down:

• I call Cingular to pay them more money (!)
• I navigate through endless, confusing voicemail menu
• I reach a human, who says (and I’m not making this up), “Cingular can’t fulfill on your desire”.

I’m sorry, let me understand that better. I am responding to a marketing solicitation, but the company can’t fulfill…? Isn’t that bait and switch?

No, says my rep – we can fulfill, we just need to give you a new phone number instead of your pre-paid existing number.

But couldn't I take my two numbers and go to ANY competitive carrier, like Verizon?

Yes. I could.

And if I came back (ha!), Cingular would offer me a discount, and I'd still be able to keep that phone number (Portability Act, again)?

Yes, I could.
 

Will Cingular at least offer me some sort of discount to ease my pain?

No, they won’t.

At this point, Michael, the Cingular "customer retention" rep at 1-800-343-6100 x17314, hangs up on me. (Yes, dumb enough to do that after giving me his name and extension. Thanks, Mike – I guess you want to be as famous as that Comcast tech on YouTube.)

Unfortunately, my story doesn’t end there… as I tried Verizon (great coverage, but no rollover minutes and 3x the cost of all other carriers for their data plan) and T-Mobile (never actually reached a human after spending 15 minutes in their menu system).

For gosh sakes, people, get it clear: marketing supports sales.

• Have a DIRECT number to call sales. No menus. If you have an offer, make it easy to respond and buy.
• Staff that number with friendly people. Check yourself – blind dial in.
• Be sure your offer is technically possible for most scenarios!